Procrastination

The fine art of doing stuff and labeling it as "nothing".

Normally I procrastinate when I have something to do or a place to be at.
Like if I have a test and I have to study I lose most of my time walking around the house getting my books and notes, then I sit down get on the computer and check something before studying. That "check something" takes at least 2 and a half hours and if you ask me what I've been doing I will say:
"Nothing"

Other times I need to leave the house at 4pm and it's 1pm, I take 3h45m just doing I don't know what and 15 mins getting ready.

Now that's called procrastination. Procrastination reaches a next level when you stop doing important stuff to do absolutely nothing.
Some people say that I'm wasting my time. I say "It's the only thing I can waste.
Government wastes my money
Food wastes my health.
Women waste my brain.

Time is the only thing I can waste.

People say time is money but I have lots of time and ain't got no money.
What am I doing wrong?

Maybe I should take one of those political science degrees so I can steal everyone's money and waste it on crap and blame it on other people. Then I'll make everyone call me a doctor because I have a PHD(doctor's degree) but don't even know the difference between hypocricy and honesty.

Just remember don't get caught singing naked in front of a mirror.

At ease,
Sergeant

The Green Vest

Today a friend asked me to go with him to an interview. So I, as a good friend, went with him.

So there's always the awkward moment when you get lost going somewhere you have never been, and so we got lost. You always get lost when you are in a hurry. Try getting lost when you have time to kill. Just try it...

It's freaking impossible!!!

You can't get lost when you are not in a hurry.

But when you're not... ohh boy you are going to get lost in your own street, where you've lived your whole life I guarantee you that.

After a while we managed to get there and we knocked on the office door and a pretty lady came up and told him to go in, I went in aswell thinking that as I was accompanying him I was allowed to go in...

I was wrong. She didn't let me in. She was polite, but what I felt was like someone had just stabbed me in the eye and I was on my way to the Maker. I had my heart broken by the receptionist. So I stood in the hall waiting for the enterview to finish. That moment felt like hours. People were passing by and I just saw the disapproving look on their face. They knew I wasn't meant to go in that room.

After a while my friend got out and his face was all red so I asked what was wrong. He said that he was really excited because he got accepted(it was a model agency) so he was going to take some pictures. He,  then explained to me what the room was like and the way he described it was like heaven on earth. After that I didn't heard a word he said. I got mad cauz he got in the room and I didn't.

Just a fluorescent greenish vest

On the way back the most wonderfull thing happened. The car engine overheated and we had to pull over. I had to call the support and put on the green vest and the warning triangle on the floor. Those of you who never had to put on that ridiculous vest and place the triangle on the road will never know how it feels like.

It was one of the most embarassing moments of my life. Having to count about 40 steps to place the triangle wearing that vest. 

After a while I kinda got used to the evil vest and I actually enjoyed wearing it. 

Made me look goooooood. I was shining. And not in the bad vampire-way.

I decided to start wearing it everyday. And don't you judge me for that. Not even King Solomon  looked so good in all his majesty as I did with that green fluorescent vest.

So eventually we managed to cool the engine down and get home safely without any Michael Bay-like movie explosions.

Just remember always check your oil and water. Or you might have to look sexy without knowing it.

At ease,

The Fluorescent Sergeant

Leave Now And Never Come Back!

Well today I got up and got my morning glass of water and went to the bathroom... If you know what I mean...
Then I went on to the CNN website to check out what was happening in the world and I stumbled upon "Terror grips besieged city" and I got mad.
I'm tired of this crap, the wars and the weapons market and the true meaning behind the wars...

Oh you still think wars happen because one side is trying to act all captain america? Oh my child you still have much to learn.

For example, the Iraq war and the Afghanistan war wasn't because americans were trying to save the poor poor people. NOOOOOOOO. They are trying to save their asses because they know they screwed up, financially speaking, so they went after the "black gold" (oil). Which by the way is incrising its value... I know it's just a coincidence.

You: How did they screw up financially if they are the largest economy in the world?

Me: Erm. They are not the largest economy in the world they are trying to look that way, but in fact the USA are rotten and the only way they still stand is due to their huge armament (or who knows maybe it's not that big) and nuclear and biological weapons. And they screwed up because they got highly concentrated in the western civilization and kinda forgot about the eastern civilization and so India and China. Among others.

Oh don't get all sad because I didn't mention you ( Ghana, Qatar, Turkemenistan, Liberia, Angola, Iraq, Ethiopia, Mozambique, East Timor and Laos).

So they developed like BOWWWSSSESSS and they expanded to Europe and even the USA and now they can copy everything, that the big companies used to do like no other. It started with chinese clothing shops and now there's even cell phones and cars that are "copies" of BMW's, Mercedes and BlackBerry's.
So China is soon going to control everything with their gigantic market and India with their huge amount of people.

Soon even your momma is going to be Indian and your cloths are all going to be "made in China"

Have funsies!!


Getting back to the subject.
So the news. A city connecting to the biggest syrian city was attacked this last week and everything was destroyed and they suspect that are some people buried under the collapsed houses.
Well F... the government that's what!

We are all tired of wars and innocent people dying because someone wants more money/power...

Dudes just go play with your wee wee's and leave us alone.

Just Sméagol

Just embrace that you suck major balls and leeeeeeeeave.
Yeaa leave the White House.
Leave the Kremlin.
Leave the Parliament.


Leave the government.
Stop killing the people.




Or else.....




At ease,
Sergeant

The House came down

Just House (Hugh Laurie)

So Fox announced that House is going to end after this current season,8.
I don't really know what I feel about that. House was one of the best series I've ever seen, the first seasons were awesome and the idea of a genious asshole that saves lives was an epic paradox. The doctor that didn't like humans, nor did he believe in them. In fact one of his catch phrases was "Everybody lies" and he always ended up being right.
It was hilarious that everyone around him tried to prove him wrong but in fact he was (almost) always right. Whenever he screwed up his world would collapse, because that was his "God". Being always right.
I know a few people like that. They can't acknowledge that their point of view is just their point of view and it isn't the ULTIMATE TRUTH.

The following seasons became a little bit repetitive. The idea of the episode starting with someone almost dying, then going to Princeton Plainsboro ( the hospital where the series takes place) and House's team discussing a diagnosis, then realizing that they were wrong and the patient almost dies and then they would find some crucial information that the patient was hidding, because "everybody lies". In the end House would isolate himself from the world trying to figure out what was wrong with the patient, whilst playing with his ball, but he would never figure it out, then when someone came to talk to him, most of the times Wilson (the faithful best friend that put up with House's crap) or Cuddy (the hot Dean of Medicine that had a "thing" with House) and out of nowhere House would find out what the problem was and cure the patient, just because he was GUUUUUUUUD!!!

And this plot repeated for a LOOOOONG time, so i guess people started to get bored, even though House is EPIC!!! And Hugh Laurie is a genious.

I think the show was canceled because in this last season Cuddy left and some of the main actors left as well so it got a bit weird and not as funny as it used to be.

I'm looking forward for the series finale. The cast promised it would be awesome so lets wait and see.

We'll miss you House.

At ease,
Sergeant

First Update

So this is my first post. Kinda obvious I know but bare with me and stop acting like: OMG you're Cpt. Obvious.

Just chillax.

I have one other blog that has nothing to do with this one and I tried to put Ad Sense on it and when it reached the payment day, google deactivated my account. Oh you can't imagine my happiness. I just wanted to hug them for so long that they would stop breathing and go into a coma. Because killing is just too mainstream.

I mean they get the payment from the clicks I generated for them and now they don't pay me? And have the guts to accuse me to have illigal activity. 

It's cool I'm rich so there isn't a problem, if only I didn't spend it all on guitars, games and food...

I read some coments on the interwebs that other people were having the some problem so I got happy just because misery loves company.

So fellow bloggers that got your ad sense account deactivated....

May the Force be with you.

Oh and for those who haven't seen the most recent Star Wars(I, II and III)... ALL THE JEDI DIE!!!

(except for yoda, obi-wan and the skywalker babies)

And if you haven't watched Star Wars maybe you should rearrange your life priorities cauz you're messed up dude. Now go watch Star Wars and cry when the jedi die.

Anywho (I didn't made a mistake i really wanted to write that)... Yesterday I was thinking about farts and it ocurred to me that none of my past girlfriends ever farted when they were with me and neither did I fart near them... that they know of. Except the one time where I was half asleep and my ex came to wake me up and I farted LIKE A  BOSS.

Of course I denied that i remember any of that. Cauz I mean, you don't even know the other person that well and you go and open yourself like that in front of him/her?? You gotz to have balls.

I kid you guys.

I wish one of my girlfriend would fart in front of me, I would laugh my ass of and maybe start a farting contest.
Then I kept on thinking about farts, because you know, it's such a rich topic to be on and I feel that it makes me grow as a person, and I realized that when you get married or start living together you don't care about farts or brushing before you kiss your better half anymore. You start feeling all comando-like and walk naked around the house, farting, leaving dirty clothes everywere. Where did all the politeness go?? Where did the romance go??
AH well if your partner doesn't care I don't either and even if he or she cares I don't.

Just remember that Superman exists.

Well this is my first writing diarrhea and I wish you read all the crap I write from here on out.

At ease,

Sergeant.